PrePUPtual Agreements – Who Gets the Dog?

Separation is rarely straightforward. Emotions run high, practical decisions pile up, and there’s often a mix of financial, legal, and logistical challenges to navigate. But among the more unexpected sources of conflict in a relationship breakdown is this deceptively simple question: Who gets the dog?

To many couples, pets aren’t just property—they’re family. And when it comes to deciding what happens to them post-separation, the stakes can feel just as high as other major life decisions. So how do we move beyond the heartache and into something more constructive?

That’s where the 'PrePUPtual' Agreements or 'Pet-Nups' come in.

The Problem: Pets as Property

Under current law in England and Wales, pets are classed as chattels—the same legal category as a fridge or a painting. It’s a reality that often shocks pet owners who see their dog as a source of comfort, stability, and companionship—not just an “asset” to divide.

Courts may consider factors like:

• Who bought the pet

• Whose name is on the microchip or insurance

• Who pays for food, care, and vet bills

• Who the pet has been living with since separation

  
  

But unless the dispute is part of wider proceedings, the court isn’t obliged to look at what’s in the pet’s best interests—which, for many of us, is the only thing that really matters.

The Solution: Enter the PrePUPtual Agreement

A PrePUPtual Agreement is a written document created while a relationship is still strong. It outlines clear terms for what happens to your dog (or other pets) if you separate, including:

• Who the primary owner is

• Where the dog will live

• Access or visitation rights for the other person

• Financial responsibilities (vet bills, food, insurance)

• How decisions will be made about the dog’s care

Much like a prenup, a PrePUPtual Agreement isn’t necessarily legally binding—but it’s persuasive. Courts and mediators alike often take it into account if a dispute arises. Most importantly, it gives couples a chance to make decisions calmly and cooperatively, not in the heat of emotional fallout.

Why Pet Disputes Are On the Rise

With one in four divorces reportedly involving disagreements about pets, this is no longer a niche issue. As pet ownership rises and more people choose not to have children, dogs and cats are becoming central members of the household—emotionally, practically, and even financially.

In some recent cases, courts have begun leaning toward arrangements that factor in the welfare of the animal and caregiving responsibilities, rather than just receipts and registrations. But this is still the exception, not the rule.

What to Consider in a Pet Agreement

If you’re thinking of drafting a PrePUPtual Agreement, or you’re already separating and trying to work things out, here are some practical questions to explore:

• Who has the time and stability to care for the dog long term?

• Will shared care cause the dog unnecessary stress?

• How will vet fees, food, and pet insurance be split?

• What happens when one of you goes on holiday?

• Can you build in flexibility for changes in work, health, or living arrangements?

These aren’t just legal questions—they’re emotional and ethical ones too. Your dog depends on you for consistency and care, regardless of the breakdown between you and your partner.

When Mediation Makes Sense

Sometimes, even the best intentions can’t overcome raw emotion. That’s where family mediation can make all the difference. Mediation creates a safe, impartial space to explore options and find a solution that puts your dog’s welfare first while helping both partners feel heard and respected.

At The Mediators, we often work with separating couples to resolve pet disputes without resorting to court. Mediation is faster, cheaper, and far less stressful—and crucially, it lets you stay in control of the outcome.

When Safety Is a Concern

For those leaving an abusive relationship, the fear of leaving a beloved pet behind can be a heartbreaking barrier. Thankfully, there are specialist services such as Dogs Trust Freedom Project and Refuge4Pets that offer confidential temporary foster care to keep your pet safe while you get the support you need.

Final Thoughts: Love, Not Litigation

Whether you’re living together, married, or cohabiting, if a dog is part of your family, a PrePUPtual Agreement is a smart step to take. It’s not about planning for failure—it’s about planning for your dog’s continued happiness, no matter what life throws your way.

If you’re navigating a separation and want to reach a calm, fair agreement over pet care, or if you’d like help drafting a PrePUPtual Agreement to avoid future disputes, The Mediators are here to help. Your dog deserves the same thoughtful care and planning as the rest of your family—and we’re ready to help you find a solution that works for everyone.